Boston Sunday Globe West
November 3, 2002

Schools Offer Counsel on Cancer in Families

—by Rhonda Stewart

When a parent is diagnosed with cancer, families face the difficult question of how much, or little, to reveal to school personnel.

For their part, schools often struggle in crafting responses that are discreet and helpful without being overwhelming.

It's a challenge Emilie Green, a social worker at Needham's John Eliot School, faced six times in a single year as she led a bereavement group for children coping with the deaths of their parents for cancer and other causes. She's seen how a child too young to fully grasp what's happened at the time can become more affected as he or she grows older and the reality sinks in.

"Our involvement with children is reallylong-term," she said. "The good news is that people survive cancer for a longer time but stress on the family also increases."

Two Newton-based groups, Hurricane Voices, a breast cancer foundation, and The Wellness Community, a support organization for those affected by cancer, are sponsoring a conference on "When a Parent Has Cancer: Strengthening the School's Response." The program, which is free, will take place tomorrow from 8 a.m. to 3:45 p.m. at the Massachusetts Medical Society in Waltham.

Organizers say the event is a way to build the kind of support networks, traditionally available to cancer patients, for those who know someone suffering from the disease. The conference is meant to raise the comfort level of school personnel trying to help students deal with the range of emotions that a parent's cancer diagnosis might bring.

"In the past, the real focus has been on women with breast cancer. It's been on the patient at the exclusion of everyone around her. Now people are looking at family systems and saying, 'How can we help?'" said Lois Egasti, president of Hurricane Voices.

Although there are many books available for patients with cancer, there are fewer that cover how the disease affects families. This summer, Hurricane Voices compiled a family reading list available online at www.wellnesscommunity.org/familyreadinglist/.

The need for communication is great, asso many people have some familiarity with cancer, said school officials.

Rebecca Kunzendorf, a Newton North student, is co-president of a group called Team Pact, which was created last year to heighten cancer awareness at the school. The idea was born when her sister, Jennifer, was treated insensitively by a teacher after revealing that their father has cancer. Kunzendorf hopes to speak about her experience at the conference.

She said she would offer the following advice to school personnel: "I would say, 'Be sensitive to each kid's issue and what they're going through. Maybe not bring it up all the time but be there if kids need you.'